Mission accomplished! Happily, my son was interested in painting with acrylic and poster paint, so i got a chance to complete my paintings I had started some days ago.
I so yearned for making these paintings really special. After all, they are gifts for five different people! Initially, i planned to paint them in a way that they belong together, that they are connected yet able to stand alone. A big plan, especially since no specific idea of what to paint was evolving. This process usually happens once i can withdraw and be alone with my creative work.
Not so this time. My son entered a developmental phase that is challenging to the core of my AND my husbands being. He screams about every little anything in life, ending up in total agitation and hysteric, for which we adults can only wait to calm down on his side. It is intense, and takes not only my time but most of my strengths (not to forget sleep, which consists currently of…let’s say in average 3-4 hours? phew…). Due to this fact, there is no chance to withdraw and let myself drop in a space of peace and focus, a perfect condition for letting my inspirations flow and my hands create what I feel in my soul.
I ended up painting alongside my son, which consisted mainly of assisting him. Having been totally clueless of what to paint I looked at my son and saw that he had nearly filled his frame full of color. I thought, oh my God, when I am not going to start putting something on those 5 frames, time will be over and my task undone. So I began…doing ANYTHING.
I tried hard to get into the space my son was in, of simply letting it flow. That wasn’t easy for me, but looking at the results I think I did somewhat well. First I was disappointed. It was so NOT what I intended to be creating! I was even considering to do it again, and find some other purpose for those paintings. After a while, though, I changed my perspective. I imagined how I write each of those persons who receive this gift HOW, under which circumstances, they were created, which wrapped my heart in warmth and made me smile. I think I often expect too much of a thing from myself, instead of facing the fact that I AM a mom now, of a 3 year old, who is going through a new and – even for himself – challenging developmental stage. I did good. I met my challenge for this day. Satisfaction pure.
Painting wasn’t done at this moment. My son required I gift him one of those five paintings. I explained why I cannot do this, and that if he wishes I could paint something else for him. He agreed, and thus I began painting a flower. While doing so, he complained that THIS is NOT what he wants. “I want a car, mommy, paint me a car!” So I did. It wasn’t good enough, though. I allowed to give the car special features, such as a car aerial and a roof box. “NO, mom, NOOOOO! NOT with those features! Remove them!” He wasn’t agreeing that I cannot remove those two items from the painting. I suggested to turn them into trees, which the car is passing. I didn’t really make it there, he tried to remove it himself with some little woods for paint scraping. Unsuccessful, of course. Then I painted him a new car, which still didn’t meet his expectations, but luckily I managed to make him find peace with it at the end.
Moms are superheros, did you know?